Once again, Canada leads the pack. Back in 1969, Canada’s new prime minister, Pierre Elliot Trudeau, said that the Canadian government had no business being in the bedrooms of Canadians. Consenting adults — male, female, straight, gay — could do as they wished, because where there was consent between the parties, no harm.
That is the prevailing thought behind the some new rulings that will be redefining the parameters of what can and can’t transpire due to “obscenity” here in Canada.
The gist of this? Swingers / sex clubs, the Supreme Court of Canada now says, are legal. Why? Basically because by way of entering the swinging establishment, where sex usually transpires quite openly, all those within the premises have essentially consented to the acts being committed therein. Go on ahead and visit Montreal, visit a swingers club, and have a little sex while you’re at it. It’s legal.
(About Montreal — the Paris of North America: There’s a show filmed here in Canada called Kink, and each season it’s set in another Canadian city where it follows the lives of a few participants as they go about their kinky existences in their little kinkdoms– from boring homosexual sex through to leathers, whips, and all the pain you can eat. Slings, anyone? Easily the kinkiest place in Canada is Montreal, where fetish is a rite of passage. God, I love my French-Canadian heritage. đ
There are reasons I’m profoundly proud to be Canadian, and the level of personal freedoms is far and away at the top of my list, of which this is simply the latest example — most recently preceded by the legalization of gay marriages. Whether it’s smoking pot anywhere I want in this town (although still illegal, it’s largely ignored — we are this continent’s Amsterdam, kids, and owners of the best dope in the world, sez High Times) or knowing that I could perform any sex act I want (except possibly bestiality, which obviously is not exactly my bag, since I can’t even handle hairy backs, let alone fur), there is no doubt that the border between Canada and the United States is where my world changes, drastically.
So, here’s a thought: Your life is only as good as the freedom with which you live it. Whether you have extreme views on sex, drug use, or just everyday rights for everyday people, voting is crucial to the well-being of your life. It’s no secret, I don’t like George Bush. At all. I dislike the politics I see coming across the wires from our Southern neighbours, and it saddens me to see what seems to be an erosion of freedoms in a time when “freedom” is what the fight’s all about. Ironic, methinks.
But the point is this, your supreme court shapes the land in which you live. Hell, look what it’s done for my country.
Bush was elected on a fiscal platform, and because he pulled patriotic strings. I’m not sure many people sat back and thought, “Hmm, will he be the right guy to pick Supreme Court judges that will shape my freedoms for the next four decades?” Well, fortunately/unfortunately, that’s the case. Not one judge, but two, and with three years to go, who’s to say what’s next? You think you have an opinion on his choices yet? How could you, when they’ve got a lifetime in their offices? Some twenty, thirty, forty years of deciding policy that will impact the lives of every citizen. Food for thought, indeed.
Perhaps this is another fork in the road of our two countries. Now, me, I’m no swinger, and it’s unlikely I’ll ever be. I’m an old-fashioned romantic with a fondness for orgasms, that’s all — and a fondness for freedom.
So, swing away, kids. Montreal’s where it’s at. Coming soon to a Canadian city near you, perhaps.
Author Archives: Steffani Cameron
New topics?
My writing’s been a little self-involved lately (just like me). Life’s been coming at me at warp speed of late and I’m feeling a tad discombobulated. I’m wanting to write a fun, dirty little Christmas story, and if a little time should avail itself to me, then I shall. I’ll show you a bad Santa.
But I want to hear questions, conundrums, and other stuff from you people. You can comment, or you can get crazy and email me.
Getting What You Ask For
Words hurt. What we say can hurt others. It can traumatize them. It can lead to unthinkable acts. Without a doubt, words can hurt.
But what we donât say can often hurt us every bit as much. Unfortunately, as you read this, lovers all over the world are having unnecessarily bad sex all because of words theyâre not saying.
Words like, âHoney, not so hard.â Or perhaps, âCan you move a little to the left?â Or quite possibly the worst phrase of all to overlook, âI think we could use a little lube.â
Iâm making light of it, to be sure, but honestly, I still feel the best way to dial up a sex life is through talk. Iâm not suggesting getting into a discourse on the pros and cons of ratifying Kyoto or anything, but rather, an interactive discussion on whether things are working or not. But letâs come back to that.
I recently received a happy package in the mail from my Secret Santa. In it was a copy of the Better Sex Series on DVD. This was Volume One: Advanced Sexual techniques and Positions.
Now, personally, I didnât find there was anything really new in the DVD, but I really was glad to watch it. Iâll be keeping it around. It may come in handy with a future lover. Itâs a âhow toâ video that explains a whole lot about sex, and I think itâd probably be useful for any new or even intermediate couple. It echoes a lot of things Iâve always believed.
There was a lot of great information included, everything from how every personâs body will respond differently to stimulation, to the uniqueness of different cocks and vaginas, and a myriad of useful position and technique advice. Great stuff.
It also highlighted the necessity of communication. The programâs participants appear to be real couples who occasionally suck at acting (in that theyâre just trying too hard to say the lines right) but they sure as hell have it going on in bed. The couples talk on-screen about aspects of their sex lives correlating to whatever topic might be showing at any given time, from cunnilingus to come, and then you see snippets of them getting it on in rather elegant, if sparse, and nicely lit surroundings, illustrating how hot their sex really is.
(An assumption one might draw if they excelled in naivety would be along the lines of, âDude, they talked about it and then, whammo! They had frickinâ hot sex! Talking is HOT, dude!â)
There are scenes, though, that illustrate beautifully what kind of dialogue can be used to really spice up your relationship. How? Itâll give you a roadmap for your partnerâs pleasure zones. Hereâs some questions I think ought to be asked in these scenarios, and some are variations of ones asked in the DVD:
âHow do you like having your clit rubbed?â
âWhat part of your cock is the most sensitive?â
âIs there something I donât do that you wish I did?â
âWhat part of your body do you think needs more attention?â
âWhat do I do that you like the most?â
“What do you like the least?”
âWhenâs your favourite time to have sex?â
âPlease tell me when Iâm doing something that doesnât feel right.â
âI wish we could keep doing this longer…â
You obviously can surmise that having information on any of the above questions would give you a little more insight into your lover. I mean, havenât you ever had that experience where, when you were younger, you had certain beliefs (political, ethical, spiritual, philosophical, whatever) and you happened upon a book that somehow encapsulated everything you ever believed, and you suddenly just had this totally invigorated worldview?
Not everyone knows that feeling, but I do, and those that do, I bet they know what Iâm saying here. If, say, you have an inkling that the way you tickle your loverâs anus when youâre making out, playing naked in bed, but itâs one of those sorta odd taboos youâve never really spoken about, so itâs almost like a guilty little pleasure when you sneak a little tweak for kicks, right?
But letâs say it finally comes up in conversation. They somehow look up at you, all abashed, and guiltily confess, âI gotta say, I get so, so, so hot whenever you do that thing to my ass, but Iâve been too embarrassed to admit it… and Iâd like a little more.â
One little statement, thatâs all it takes. I couldnât care less if assplay is a notion that gets you off or not, but you see my point. Confess your desires, inquire as to theirs, and start fulfilling them. What part of this is so hard to understand?
Not much, I gather. Itâs just hard to do. At first. One day, you just come to realize that being vulnerable may get you a little more hurt more often, but wow, the dividends it pays in most of your life is frickinâ killer — especially when it comes to sex. Youâll find that the more you open up, the more you will be rewarded in kind. When that happens, a synergy starts to build between you. Thereâs something there, more tangible, more open, more adventurous. Itâs like youâre finally receiving permission to act.
Whatâs more, itâll start spilling out into other areas of your life. Youâll feel more comfortable being open. It takes a while to find the right people who are receptive to it, but once you do, then you need to find a way to get them talking.
And if you canât get them talking, then at least try to get them to watch something like the Better Sex series. There is help out there, kids. Itâs a matter of finding it.
Beyond Fat Girls
Labbie wrote a piece about weight and self-image recently. I enjoyed it. Then, later the same morning, I was watching my previously-taped episode of âRescue Meâ in which firefighters, Probie Mike and Sean, are making their way up the stairs to the flame-filled fifth floor, talking about a recent date, which ended in the Probie getting laid with this apparently model-thin chick.
âIt was like her hips were cutting into me,â he said, continuing, âIâm afraid to get on top of her. Itâs like I hear this cracking sound or something.â
Iâve said it before, and Iâll say it again. Iâm part of the bonus-lover plan. Yeah, Iâm carrying extra, for sure. Iâm told âI wear it wellâ and for the first time, I believe them, most of the time. But I do know Iâm cute, at the very least. Iâve got punky short light hair and green eyes with a sly grin, and Iâm pretty comfortable with myself when I put an effort into lookinâ like a cutie. And hey, I even get a little approval streetside.
Iâve written before about overcoming insecurities in order to love yourself for who you are. Itâs been a long road for me. I was always very sexual, but I never really believed it about myself until the past three or so years. This year, though, has been the year of the my greatest emergence. I am what I am now, and I know it. The journey has been a long and interesting one, the journey of becoming sexual, not just seeming sexual. Itâs fabulous.
My weight always held me back. I always tried to say the right things. I always tried to toe the line and be the proper chick, so I wouldnât offend too many people. I played it safe. One day, I realized that I felt like a fake, and I started saying exactly what was on my mind. I stopped appeasing everyone. I slowly started to work on my self-image. Simple things, like trying a new kind of clothing, pushing myself in physical exercise, losing a little of the weight, talking to someone seemingly out of my league. There are days I forget how to be the Better Steff, days I forget about being the strong, proud, sassy chick I know I am. It happens. But it always passes, too. I suspect, however, that thereâs something universal about that.
The biggest part of my transformation came from finally accepting myself for what I am, but more importantly, realizing that my faults and weaknesses werenât nearly as sizeable as I had feared. I learned to look at myself as someone on the street might; if I met that woman, how would I judge her? Not nearly so harshly, I thought.
In finally being open enough to talk about my body image with the guys I have seen or considered in that way, I realized that the men Iâd found seemed to nurture a very different impression about weight on a woman. They felt exactly as Mike the Probie would — that a woman with a few extra pounds was someone you could play a little more roughly with, someone you didnât have to worry about harming if things might escalate a bit between you.
Soon, I realized something great: The thing that I always thought held me back in the bedroom was the thing bringing me exactly the kind of physicality I enjoyed — sometimes rough, always unrestrained.
Itâs interesting how perspective can alter your enjoyment of something, but thereâs an incredible shift that occurs when you really begin to embrace yourself in your loverâs presence.
I think this is part of the dilemma that lays behind the number one complaint I hear from women — their inability to orgasm at all, or the difficulties faced when eventually achieving one. Weâre so wrapped up in our body images, trapped in our insecurities, concerned with public perception, and inundated with the pressure to come, that we just canât enjoy sex. It takes years for women to get past this shit, and I personally believe that itâs why we do not peak sexually until the average age of 32.
I happen to now be 32. If any of my friends had known the kind of sex I was already having in my early 20s, their perception of me would have been wildly different. In that regard, I was definitely advanced for my age.
I began having bondage with sex at the relatively young age of 19. I had sex in very, very public places the first time at the age of 18. By the age of 21, I had no qualms having sex in a semi-public private room where anyone could walk in without warning (but Iâm secretly glad they never did). Voyeurism, for me, was a two-way street, and I liked to travel on it. All that said, though, and I still never really embraced my sexuality until this year, my 32nd.
Sex, for me now, is better than it has ever been — and not because of my lovers, but because of the roles Iâm willing to play, the brazenness I bring to the bedroom, because of my changed perspective. My god, had I even begun to suspect it would be like this, Iâd have ditched those insecurities years ago.
The rewards of youth arenât nearly as great as weâve all been led to believe. Sex improves with age, despite the hundreds of millions of dollars the pharmaceutical industry spends to make you believe otherwise. Sex isnât just about hard cocks and screaming orgasms. Itâs the one language that transcends geography. Itâs an otherworldy experience you can share where you need nothing but skin and sweat and stamina. Weâre so hung up on needing to be hard, needing to come, that weâve forgotten everything that happens in between — the places in which our mouths can linger and toy; the dexterity and flexibility of the hand; the thrill of warm, sweaty skin against our own; the scores of peaks and valleys found in that symphony of gasps and moans.
With age and maturity and realism, weâre able to begin letting go of those hang-ups. When we allow ourselves the freedom of being beautiful to that one person, we find ourselves experiencing things we never thought weâd feel. And that, thatâs the ultimate goal to have in any sexual relationship: the absolute ability to lose all apprehensions and fear, the evolution of trust and willingness.
If only it were that easy. Itâs hard. Very. But the reward is worth the struggle. Oh, so very.
A Nibble Here, A Bite There…
Food and sex, two of my favourite things. The two, really. Perhaps Iâm secretly male. Maybe a hermaphrodite. The Caramilk secret of Steff. Who knows.
Anyhow, suffice to say that I donât really get into porn, so I settle for Food TV. Oh, my freakinâ god, the goodness. Tonightâs a good Food TV night, and since Iâm sexually frustrated and sort of on a diet, it just makes sense. I have a couple observations to make.
One. I was watching a pissy British cooking show, and I was marvelling at the importance of communication in the kitchen. If a chef wants to successfully pull off a night of cooking that results in totally satiating his clientele, then he absolutely must do a few things well. First off, he really needs to know how to season. Heâs got to keep it just spicy enough. He needs to know how to control the temperature; when to kill the heat and bring her to a simmer. He needs to engage in conversation when necessary in order to know exactly whatâs going on in all regions of his domain. I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining the commonalities between a good chef and a good lover. You can do the math.
Two. There are as many kinds of restaurants as there are breeds of sex.
- For starters, the slowânâeasy ones that cater to all your little desires and never, ever rush you.
- Then there are the always-safe, purely utilitarian fast food restaurants where you get in there quickânâdirty, like one of the masses, and when youâre through, it may not set your heart afire, but it whetted your appetite and you will have gotten exactly what you were expecting.
- Don’t forget the avant garde, with the crowds who follow the trends and seem to be around for a while before fading back into the masses, something for a time, and good while it lasted, and definitely always interesting, but somehow never really felt real.
- Then there are those that leave you stunned at their constant reliability and seeming perfection. Theyâre the pinstripe-suit of the restaurant industry; always classy, always fulfilling, always reliable, and always safe, but in a reasonably good and comfortable way.
- And who doesn’t love the exotic? They take you to a place youâve really only read about, tap you into a different culture and a different flavour, in every sense of the word — and leave you somehow feeling just a little more cosmopolitan because youâre there then.
- Who says you can’t go home? There are the down-home, câmon-in-and-sit-awhile establishments that keep you feeling like yes, I really can go home and thank god, I can leave. Itâs good for awhile, but then you remember why you left in the first place: Something different was necessary.
- Finally, there are my favourite, the unassuming type you always have your suspicions about, but leave you utterly surprised at how masterful they are, even in their simplicity. Theyâre quiet, out-of-the-way, with a casual, confident appearances that belie the full intensity of their real deal.
Itâs a beautiful world of flavours out there, and I unfortunately have far too great of appreciation for each.
My, I wish I was doing a little dining this evening. Well, ironically, I could have been, but as geared to go as I may be, I absolutely know I’d let myself down. It’s called honesty. đ A smart night in.
Hey, Where's OUR Smut?
It’s a Sunday afternoon, and instead of being on my ass at home or out in the world, I’m at the office. Not “the” office, really, since I’m just helping stop the Christmas bleeding for the goodly folk who owned my ass for five years, but still, here I am.
Last night was the annual Christmas party for their staff, which entails copious alcohol and fabulous food. Last night? Oysters, lobster. Precisely what to give an undersexed sex writer: An aphrodisiac. I so thank you for the added frustrations.
Add to that, I spent the night with a gay man. My best friend, GayBoy, and I crashed at his loverman’s pad after too much drinking.
I laid there on the Ikea couch, staring at the citylight pouring through the horizontal blinds, the lines of light playing on the cieling, and thought about earlier in the night…
My recent endeavours writing about smut has become a popular conversational topic among people I’m catching up with, and last night was no different. Sex became the evening’s topic, and naturally, when I was out on the sidewalk with some of the boys, talking, they proceeded to let me know about the men’s washroom in the oyster bar.
“The Centipede” became the most-talked-about piece of art — a black & white abstract close-up of a woman’s vagina. It turns out there were more than a half-dozen or so close-ups of vaginas in all their assorted beauty (eye/beholder) adorning the men’s washroom’s walls.
And in the ladies’ room? Pictures of squid. Oysters. Other seafood.
So, this begs the question: Where is our equality, huh?
Not that I’m saying I really needed any additional sexual frustration last night, but I’m a little baffled how a supposedly upscale place in one of the posher neighbourhoods in downtown Vancouver gets away with seafood in one washroom, and nicely done porn in the other?
It’s an interesting statement about men, particularly the autographed, framed photo of a porn star / stripper named Portia, inscribed, presumably, to the owner of the establishment. It read, “Shaz — I’m sorry to hear about your upcoming wedding. I was so looking forwards to riding your hard cock.”
Naturally, the boys insisted they play guard and keep the coast clear long enough for me to go and soak in the ambiance of the boys’ room. It was great for a laugh, and goes to show how divided the sexes are still. To each their own.
The guys I was with, one gay, one whipped, and one probably bi- (any guy who can belt out an Ethel Merman impression about a credit card has no goddamned right claiming to be heterosexual), all claimed they found the “art” a little disconcerting.
Either way, I could care less. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Yeah, maybe it objectifies women, but you show me one fucking thing that doesn’t, honey, and you got better eyes than me. Fodder for dialogue, that’s all.
Now, I see nothing really wrong here, but what do you all think about it? Does it make an interesting statement about the sexes today?
Words, words, words: To Speak or Not to Speak?
At 1:27 am I turned the television off and found myself alone in the dark. It had been a long time since I’d last just sat there in that darkness, that silence. The day had been long, frenetic, and while good as a whole, was the kind of day that prevents you from getting the shit that needs doing done.
Suddenly, silence. Calm. Through my large sliding glass doors, the clouds have that murky coral-tinted charcoal look of a dreary winter night. But the city behind that glass is absolutely silent.
Know that old joke, why do you keep hitting yourself in the head with a hammer? Because it feels so good when it stops, the guy responds. This was one of those moments. The throbbing concussive pain that has been my life of late had momentarily ceased to be.
My head-hitting has all been of the cerebral sort, though, of late. My mindâs been in overdrive and Iâve had no outlet for it. Iâve actually been writing some of late, I should confess. Itâs been the literary equivalent of the quickie. Fastânâdirty, when time permits. Stolen moments, hoarded words.
Iâve yet to go back and read any of it. Tomorrow, today rather, is a day off. My plans include laziness and self-indulgence, perhaps self-pleasure. Thatâs a double-entendre, kids, since sitting around and reading your own work is about as intellectually masturbatory as anything can get.
Iâve been doing a lot of soul-searching about this sex writing gig of late, folks. Iâve had cause to do so. A recent opportunity arose in which I could try to do a certain quantity of writing in a certain form for certain people who happened to be of a certain religious persuasion. The opportunity would essentially mean I would receive a stipend weekly, with guidance provided in order to aid me in being completely self-sufficient (read: no more corporate whoring) over the next year. The only stipulation? Certain envelopes being pushed would constitute my possibly being uninvited from the party, and the cash cow going bye-bye. (IE: Big Brother and censorship rear their ugly heads once again.)
For a few days, I held off on writing or posting on here, the very politically incorrect “Cunt,” because I wanted to toe that line. I wasnât sure whether it was in search of simply getting money for doing what I wanted to do, or simply âholding backâ with the same goal in mind. Holding back, I can handle that, I thought. Itâs not like I really take it all that far, I thought.
Or do I?
But in the last couple days, Iâve woken the fuck up. I canât toe a line. Itâs hypocritical. Shit, man, I canât even get within a sidewalkâs breadth of that line, dude. How ass-backward would that be?
Pretty goddamned, Iâd say.
I think the biggest thing wrong in North American relationships today is our almost Puritanical approach to talking about anything sexual. We have so many hang-ups and inhibitions when it comes to sex. We got to get past this, people.
We refuse to talk about it. Or most people do, that is. Itâs shunned. We talk about things surrounding sex — the flirtation, the outfits, the seduction, the wining’n’dining, the commitment, the logistics — but never the nitty gritty, the real stuff that affects us on an individual level.
Face it, the whole notion of sex conversation tends to be along the lines of the boring and uninvestigative, like, âDo you like that?â You know what rule number one in the world of journalism is? Never, ever ask a question which can be answered with a simple âYesâ or âNo.â If you want to know your interview subject, you always, always investigate for long, thorough answers.
Youâre trying to bring your partner the best pleasure they can possibly experience, and all youâll ask is âDo you like that?â Jesus. And people wonder whatâs wrong with sex today? Worse yet, even today there are a lot of women who will NOT even ask their man if theyâre likinâ it. That’s a whole other issue that I just won’t address right now.
The human body isnât one-size-fits-all. Itâs complicated. We need to talk to each other. You wanna improve your sex life? TALK to your partner. Get to know whatâs working and whatâs not. Askingâs the only way to do it.
Be a scientist. Gather evidence. Learn. Study the subject in as many conditions as you can. Experiment. Document your findings. Verify. Rinse. And repeat.
So, then, I ask you: How could I possibly live with myself if I began to censor myself just for a meagre stipend so early in this game?
Throw a few more digits at me, though, and maybe weâll talk. For now, no whoringâs good enough for me. Hand me that megaphone, will you? And go talk to your lover.
Iâll have a few more things to say about conversations regarding sex in the near future, a couple examples of ways to go about doing that, for those who are a little awkward on just how to find out whatâs really working. It’s so damned important.
Lazy Days of Lovin' Tip
Call me old-fashioned, but I think there’s few finer ways to spend a Sunday than staying home, closing the blinds, and makin’ sweet love all the day long. In honour of Sundays, this simple tip:
One of the easy things to do to make a night or day of bedroom sports better and longer is to plan ahead. Before your lover arrives for the hijinks, put a few bottles of water next to the bed — a non-spilling pitcher is a better environmental choice — and a couple nice crystal glasses, if you like that kind of touch.
Hydration keeps you ready to be active! I know, I’m a thinker. Sheer brilliance, really.
It’s slightly more subtle, ergo more romantic, if you put obvious displays of fortification out of sight, GUYS. But, gals, oddly, a guy might get a kick out of knowing you plan to be there for awhile, so leaving the bottles / glasses visible for him may just get him friskier. Note the emphasis. It ain’t a certainty. I put mine away. I don’t need any added advantages, anyhow. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.
A Note from the Management
It’s been a crazy week and I haven’t had the time to write lately, but I tell you, I am bursting at my seams to do so.
I plan to make an extra good pot of coffee in the morning, settle in, and write. There’s a few different things I may tackle in the next week or so: An ode to the always-fun quickie, some thoughts on porn, a review of a how-to-be-a-better-lover sex guide DVD, and a couple other shall-remain-unspoken notions.
Sigh. I’ve missed writing. Life’s been chaotic, but I took the time to clean my desk yesterday, and that’s always a great way to induce the will to write. Now, I need the time. Love a good, quiet Friday morning.
Thanks for your patience. Soon, the games shall resume. Fun, fun, fun. For now, off to work. Mmf. By bus, even. We’ve entered that 8-week period where riding the scooter becomes an exercise in self-mutilation as you toy with sub-zero temps and their windchill factors in the bitter fucking cold. So, rather than expose myself to sadomasochistic tendencies on a daily basis, I will take the lesser of the evil pills and hop on the bus with my iPOD on full blast. For once, being one of the masses isn’t too terrible.
And it’s really, really good fodder for writing. I’ve been in a rut. The rut’s been shook. Thank frickin’ god. Anyhow, like I said: Work. Speaking of necessary evils, and without ado… Thanks again for all the positivity and the mushy shit that comes with. How cool is that.
For the e-Dating Types: Six Tips
Note from Steff in 2010: It’s almost five years later, and every one of these still holds true. Please, for the love of God, people: Think about the kind of person you’ll attract through your profile, then plan accordingly. Here’s a few things not to do.
- Look, everyone on the e-dating systems is taking a chance by putting their faces/profiles out there. Stop being a bonehead and saying, “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” or “I don’t have a lot of faith in this…” If not, then don’t!
- We all find it a little weird, all right? In a perfect world, we’d walk into a bookstore, grin at a cutey, and have a date in five. Instead, we’re coming home after work, having a drink, and logging onto a dating service. Right. Yeah, that’s a little odd. Stop mentioning it. It’s kind of like going to a dinner party where the food’s shit: Everyone knows it, but you just nod and smile anyways.
- If you’re a guy or gal looking for a class act to hook up with, it’s probably not the brightest idea to get a photo where you’re holding a beer bottle. Let’s think about it, all right?
- Please, for the love of god, don’t make your profile read “If you want to know, ask.” The whole point of e-dating is the not-having-to-ask thing. Haven’t you noticed? But if you insist on staying single, have at ‘er.
- Yes, yes, yes, we can see you’re a romantic because your profile photo is a sunset, but really, can we get a little skin? Come on.
- And to the men out there, putting in your profile that she must be a little domesticated and know how to cook is so not gonna get you action. I just saw a guy’s profile where he demanded exactly that. And know what? He used that filthy word, too… “Laundry.”
It’s incredible the amount of oblivious folks out in the world. Sure keeps it entertaining for the rest of us, though, doesn’t it?
