Author Archives: Steffani Cameron

Fifteen Long, Long Years

My night last night was powerful. I can’t do it justice, but I’ll try.
For a brief moment, I found myself in tears with one of my best friends as we had, yes, a profound moment over a McDonald’s cheeseburger in Robson Square.* The kind of tears I shed signal the end of something long and hard, a relief no one can understand unless they’ve been there.
My end? It was the first rock concert in about 15 years where I went came home pain-free. Continue reading →

Yesterday or Yesteryear?

It’s all strange.
I’m slowly trying to get a life again after taking myself out of the equation for years. Looking for people more up than down, more smart than dumb, more communicative than un, more unmarried than married.
That part’s working, it’s fun, but it’s a strange ride, especially since everyone I’ve been meeting is 34 and younger. Even if I am young-at-heart, I tell ya. These “kids” think, “Well, it’s only 10 years.” Yeah. And 220,000 hours. Just shy of 14 billion potentially life-altering anything-can-happen seconds. I’ve changed so much this WINTER, let alone the last decade. Age isn’t just a number, it’s an entity. It’s just not a be-all end-all, but it can’t just be dismissed. That said, I like youth. I’m just bridging some mental gaps, is all. Continue reading →

A Posting About BumperStickers to Feed Your Dirty Little Habit

It’s been a weird week. I’ve written a few times, but just not for you. It happens.
I’m tired. Worked out twice today. The second time was a doozy. Did a pretty intense but short (7k) cycling sprint that had me spent after, THEN I did my second 30-minute set of intense plyometrics for the day. (First was at 7:30am.) When done, I was shaking all over. So, yeah, no writing tonight, either. I’m inhabiting a secret world of dread as to how my abs will feel come morning. Oh, lordie. Oh.
So, in lieu of a “real” posting, I’ll share with you a list of all my favourite bumper stickers I’ve ever had on either my vehicles or my laptop. I’m not subtle.

Ending an Era

It just took a light tap on a sweet spot, but the crystal glass shattered and shards scattered amongst my feet.
It was the last of a crystal wine goblet in a pattern called “Stephanie” that my mother bought with a giggle some 15-20 years ago because they bore my name. And now they’re all gone, just like she is.
It’s strange, the glass breaking the morning after Mother’s Day, the morning after I’ve finally thrown out the last of her clothes that I just found in my closet last night.
But sometimes life indicates to us when it’s really time to move on. Continue reading →

The Struggle Between Optimism and Authenticity

Having woken up in a pretty sour mood, I got into my exercises after a pretty lengthy bit of procrastinating. While doing them, I watched Michael J. Fox’s Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, a one-hour documentary on his search to understand more about what makes us optimistic, and how it might impact things.
It’s a lot of food for thought. I found myself with a few questions. Continue reading →

Time Travel Needed. And One Flux Capacitor.

Once again, I find myself exhausted.
This “one day off a week” thing was a novel notion, but a big fail. The reality is, I’m supposed to be working out 1.5 hours A DAY (six days a week) and I tack that on an 8.5 hour day, nothing else gets done. Or at least not when you’re still rehabbing and energy’s a tough find some days. Continue reading →

Miss California: The Boobs Are on the Job

I had to doublecheck my old-school calendar just now. Holy fuck, it really is 2009. Who knew?
Clearly not the folks running the Miss California Pageant.
Yeah, Miss California. You remember her? Perez Hilton went all “oh, no you didn’t [SNAP]” as a result of the ass-backward beauty’s anti-gay marriage stance she posited while she grinned and pointed her perky breasts at the —
[record scratches]
Right, the perky breasts. The now-to-be-infamous perky breasts paid for by the Miss California Pageant, so their homophobic girlie could have her cake and totally, like, not eat it at the Nationals. Continue reading →

Nocturnal Thoughts about a Long & Windy Road

It’s 2.30am and the lights are low in my apartment. I was on the verge of bed when I saw a tweet from the singer John Mayer that made me think, so I took a look at his Twitter page, and I saw this:
“There’s this moment in creation, when you’ve made something truly special, where you become euphoric. And then, utterly lonely.”
I’ve been feeling that tonight, the lonely. Continue reading →

Quickie: State of the Steff

I’m on the verge of eggs and toast. This is my exciting life.
I just wanted to pop in though, say boo to some of my favourite readers, and just letcha all know that it might be a day or two before I’m firing on all cylinders. This blog’s a total snapshot of my mental processing and parts of my life, it happens on my whim. I don’t write postings in advance, or plan for things, or scheme.
It’s all whatever feels right. It’s kind of the hedonistic approach to blogging, as opposed to what I suspect is, um, much more orchestrated with other “serious” bloggers. I just don’t roll that way. Wish I could. I’d accomplish more.
But life isn’t about this blog right now. And it honestly hasn’t been for the last two years. Continue reading →