I’m still in the euphoric afterglow of Obama’s victory. I suspect many of us are. I’m looking forward to the stories we’ll hear from around the world about this. It’s more healing internationally than I suspect Americans can possibly imagine.
In its most flippant terms? I believe this vote means American college kids can stop sewing Canadian flags on their backpacks to travel in Europe. I mean, fuck, during Bush’s reign there have been companies selling “Canadian” kits with our anthem, passport covers, and more, for Americans wanting to “lay low” abroad.
That’s because we’ve all been living under a cloud of What The Fuck? since Bush got elected.
Obama, though, represents everything awesome about America. He’s a throwback to the American leaders who so squarely defined America as the defender of ideals, the protector of its people, and the chief negotiator on the world stage. He’s a reminder of what presidents were — we remember what JFK and FDR did for the country, and this guy, he’s running on bringing that kind of politicking back to the national stage but with a modern twist. FDR never had the internet to inspire or unite his electorate with, after all.
He reminds us of the America that has set the pace for the entire world for a century. He makes it seem like, after a few decades of interruption, America has remembered who it is again. Continue reading
Author Archives: Steffani Cameron
Not Right Now: "No" on Gay Marriage
Amidst the euphoria of Obama’s rise last night, every referendum on gay marriage was voted down.
Gay rights activists are going to be broken-hearted today. I know. You want what you want when you wanted it. You want America to be ready. You think it’s so obvious, so elementary, so how could anyone who understands what love is reject your right to it?
45 years ago, a black preacher delivered a sermon on a mount. He was gunned down the next day, shattering hearts and minds around the world and reinforcing perceptions worldwide that race was a divide America might not be able to cross.
24 years ago, another young black preacher ran for the highest office of the land and barely made it out of the starting gate before two things became apparent: One, he wasn’t the guy for the job, or two, the time wasn’t ripe for black Americans to have that apple to pluck from the tree.
Less than 24 hours ago, a young black lawyer led his party to one of the most decisive political victories of modern times in a vote heard, and cheered, all around the world.
But…
Ten years ago, a young man named Matthew Shepherd was beaten nearly to death and then left to die hung up on a Wyoming fence. Continue reading
And Then It Was Over: Election 2008
This waiting has been insufferable. I dread a bad election day. I fear problems. But I anticipate an Obama victory. As far back as March I was saying, deep down, I thought Obama might take this election by a landslide. I believed then. I believe now.
It doesn’t mean I’m not scared. Shit happens. In 36 hours I’ll probably feel a lot better than I am.
But then again, my whole life right now is waiting — waiting to sign papers for the loan I’ve been approved for, waiting for the bed I’ve chosen and put a deposit on to be delivered next weekend, waiting for my back to heal, but most of all, waiting for a leader of the free world who wants to inspire hope, not fear, who wants to work with others, not drive a wedge between them, and who thinks dreaming a bigger dream isn’t the mark of a fool, but rather the mark of greatness.
In short, I’m waiting. I’ve waited a lifetime for a leader to inspire me like Obama does. I’ve waited a lifetime for a country to lead the way and say, globally, that dreaming of better days isn’t just for yesterday anymore. Continue reading
Internet Murder, Story at 11: The Death of a Friend
We’ve feared the worst and today have found out that the worst was something even beyond our imagination. Details are sketchy, but what we know is this:
My brother’s best friend from high school and the years that followed took off years ago to live up north. Being that they’re the original “internet geeks” dating back to the good old BBS days, they stayed in touch by computer.
John Altinger was the original BBS/internet geek, and remained that way throughout life. He would use the internet for everything from dating to purchasing power, so it’s no surprise, then, that it looks to have led to his death.
John has been missing since October 10th. Stories have now just run in a smattering of Canadian press about the sensational case. John was allegedly murdered by a guy making horror movies in his garage. Word amongst friends is… Continue reading
I'm Back, Baby!
Yahoo! My blog is fixed. The fabulous Samantha had something come up and couldn’t finish the drama, so the ever-awesome Ang stepped back in and made my blog her bitch as she forced the evil internetz to yield to her mighty power.
In short: We’re back in biz at smutandsteff.com! Yay!
This weekend I promise to sort out the RSS feed, which I’m not sure is working or not for those subscribed at Feedburner, so bear with me a smidge longer.
Also, monster shout out… (get it? Halloween? yeah, pun cops come busting down my door and throwing my sorry ass against the wall… actually, that sounds like fun, but I digree) …to that hot thang Babecakes, who saved my ass when WordPress did something really weird after I tried to reset my password (it kept saying it had sent me a new password, but the email was empty… I was locked out!). The magic link? My buddy Ang took care of the dirty work for me since the universe had recently obviously been conspiring against me.
But… baby, I’m home!
Thanks, you fabulous femmes. Rowr!
Stupid Over Love: The Human Condition
If there’s anything that’ll make me sick of Twitter in a hurry, it’s the endless drama regarding relationships and people’s moods. Some days, life’s too short.
That’s not to say that I don’t get it when people need to vent. Oh, do I. I get it.
Last night someone complained on Twitter, “Oh, I hate when I get stupid over a boy.” So I replied, “For thousands of years, all the best dramas have been about two things: Love & War. Do the math. We’re all stupid about it.”
I wonder sometimes how many people realize this. We’re all so self-punitive when wrapped up in turmoils of the heart. We damn ourselves and scowl about being so weak. But, are we? Continue reading
Good Times Ahead? Let's Hope.
I normally write mornings, but I feel really good right now. In every sense. I want to remember it now, rather than chance it ebbs away during the night.
It’s times like these I remember why I never wanted to go to bed as a child: I was very, very scared life would go on without me. Sadly, growing up I only learned that’s exactly what it does. But I’ve learned to like that. It’s something to wake up to, isn’t it? The constant movement and shift of our little microcosms.
All is not sunshine and roses just yet, boys and girls. I still need to get a loan this week in order to make important changes in my life, but if I don’t, then at least a fairy godmother — or at least my aunt and uncle — did save me heroically with a much-needed immediate infusion. They’re awesome to the nth. They sent me a surprisingly large cheque today (four times what I asked for, double what they said they’d send), so I can pay the rent-eating monsters from the east (“landlord” type things) and maybe even get important cycling and scootering gear. I need that stuff now. Our good weather died today and fall’s forecasted to arrive with a vengeful fury sometime afore noon tomorrow.
Summer, how sweet you were. You shall be missed. But thanks for overstaying your welcome. Make a note: Come back any time.
And, my back! It’s loosening up! With the damp weather coming in, I’m coughing but it doesn’t hurt. (Astounding. You have no idea. I nearly jumped with glee when putting my jeans on didn’t make me cry out this morning. ) I’m even becoming, dare I say it? Flexible? I’m not normally the ankles-behind-the-ears type but, you know, I do yoga. I even sprang up some steps today before I stopped myself with a “Whoa, slow down, skippy!” admonishing. Walk before you run, Grasshopper.
Now, I do have this little kink in my right hip. But, hey, it’s only fitting; we already knew I had a little kink in me. It’ll settle down.
I can work again. This is good. I can produce. I like producing. Hell, I can even get crazy and live a little. Maybe even date some boys.
But most of all, I have that “I came, I saw, I kicked its ass” feeling about everything. I feel really, really good for the first time in a while. Life has tried to beat me down, and while I had some bad moments, I kept the faith over all. And look how it’s turning out.
Did I mention I’ve lost weight during all this? Shit, man. I’m wearing the Joe Boxer pajamas I bought a few years ago, and the pants that I couldn’t even pull over my thighs are eight inches loose on me. (They were about six at their best.) I haven’t weighed myself, I promised myself I’d wait until one week after my back healed. Even if I’ve lost weight, wouldn’t it be cool to get on the scale in a week or two and see an even larger number than I expect? Wicked.
I knew this would pass, but, you know, when you’re expecting to be holed up for 3 days and it turns into 31, well. It gets a little trying.
But I came. I saw. I kicked its ass. Simply put, I win. This is good. Let’s hope this continues a little longer.
After all, I know I don’t deserve it. No, I’ve earned it. And I want it now. Thanks. Got a side of fries for that?
WHEW! A Better State of the Steffs, & Schoolgirl Kilts!
Yesterday became increasingly dark for me, even though I kept my good humour alive on Twitter in an attempt to keep my mind off things, so when my aunt called me in the evening to see how I was doing, I suddenly broke into the biggest cry I’ve had in a while.
I tried to downplay my financial worries and my fears, tried to be a bit more of a “man” about things, but it didn’t work out very well. I got off the phone and literally wailed, “I want my mommy!” It wasn’t one of my finest moments.
This morning she rang me. Her and my uncle are sending me a gift of cash to tie me over, as I’ve only ever been this desperate once before. I was so relieved I flat-out bawled yet again.
But yay for me. Yay for seeing that little light in the tunnel. Yay for my back feeling a bit better. Yay for maybe turning the page on the darkest part of my recent trials. Continue reading
The Sad State of the Steffs Report
Today is brought to me in part by the letter A for “Anxiety” and the letter O for “Oy!”
Oh, where to begin. Well, I took the last half of last week off in the hopes of healing Ze Gimpy Back some more… even though it meant opening a short-term disability claim that I won’t see a dime of until the end of the year and makes it highly questionable I’ll both be able to pay rent AND buy food for the next three weeks. But if you can’t work, you can’t work.
My website is still in limbo, hanging there in cyberspace, and it turns out somehow the server co got the memo that I wanted to CANCEL “smutandsteff.com”, so now there’s another kerfuffle to iron out before all this is resolved.
My back, unfortunately, is still wonky, mildly better than it was, but we’ll see what a week of sitting on it does. I’m returning to work tomorrow not because I’m ready for it, but because finances dictate that I must, whether short-term disability will eventually come my way or not. I can’t wait until Christmas for money; rent is due in less than a week. Continue reading