Since The Guy gave me his consent to share this tale with ya, here goes.
Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally? Remember the cute vignettes that pepper the film? Old couples talking about the coincidences that brought them together?
Well, The Guy and I have our own Tale of Many Coincidences, and it’s why both of us are probably running into this thing a little less guarded than we might otherwise be doing with someone else. And hey, it’s spring. If there’s any time of the year to govern yourself with a sense of abandon, this is that.
Four years ago, we were living across the pond from each other. He was on Vancouver Island, and I lived here on the Lower Mainland, in the big old city of Vancouver. Between us was a two-hour, expensive ferry ride and about two hours’ of driving time.
We encountered each other on Lavalife. I spotted him, thought “Hey, he’s cute, seems like my type” and “smiled,” or something, and emails ensued. I remember being bitter that I had failed to notice he was on the Island, and if I had, I probably never would have contacted him, since long-distance relationships are not something I believe in. I always deliberately avoided the Island guys, so it was very likely a mistake in the first place. (But a happy mistake, as it turns out.)
Well, despite the geographical differences, we volleyed back and forth, about three emails each, but then he stopped the volley. Maybe he just forgot to get back to me, who knows, but I thought it was A Clue, and simply didn’t contact him again.
As so often happens in that crazy world of e-dating, we simply fell away and never did get in touch again.
The emails were great (though odd in the serendipitous coincidental kind of way) and if we’d lived locally, there’s no doubt in our minds that we would have hooked up. We had a strange long, long list of commonalities that we shared, and it seemed a little too odd to ignore at the time, but darn the geography anyhow.
Fast forward four years, and it’s Tuesday, March 7th. The Kid has just told me the night before that the evening we shared “was no fun” because I was “too aggressive.” I wouldn’t say I’m always “that” aggressive, but I sure as shit know what I want. (The Guy will attest to this, since it amuses him. “You, here, come.”) I was pretty annoyed by the Kid’s stupid & naïve comment, which resulted in this rant, and it also resulted in me deciding to write a very, very clear personal ad for Craig’s List, with the heading, “Writer chick, 32, seeks muse and partner in crime.”
The Guy, in what was probably another Weak Moment At Work was bored and just surfing Craig’s List for kicks. He had described himself as “single and not looking,” but when he saw my heading, couldn’t resist at least taking a boo. He read the ad, and as I usually tend to be amusing on my rants days, he had a chuckle, thought, “This chick is kooky,” and decided to check out my blog – which I had listed in the ad.
It didn’t take long, apparently, for him to notice my handle, which has always been the same on Lavalife – Scribe Called Steff. He did the math, recognized the writing style, and decided to take the plunge.
It turns out he’s been living in the city for a year now, and in the four years that have passed, we’ve begun to share even more in common. We’ve held the same jobs, love the same things, have the same beliefs, enjoy the same culture, we’re both foodies, we’ve both come through a lot of hardships with greater understandings of who we are, both our mothers are kaput, we’re both in the same place in our lives right now, yada, yada, yada. It’s enough sap to make syrup with, honestly. But I’m not complaining.
Well, I was thrilled to hear from him, since I don’t believe in “coincidences.” When these strange happenings come down, I investigate. So, naturally, I told him right off that I was interested in meeting him before I would meet anyone else. (Be blunt, it pays.)
Our first date wasn’t much to speak of, since I was pretty sick at the time and we only met for lunch, a bit of a walk, and he took me home, where I rapidly deflated into Land of Sickie-Plus-Nth. The next date entailed him making me dinner, and my selecting Fight Club as the date-flick du jour, which had him grinning madly. We had the first kiss’n’grope session, which led to some pretty wicked fooling around, but we decided it was worth not putting sex on the menu just yet.
The next date was this past Wednesday, with my preparing us breakfast for dinner (hey, don’t knock it – easy and tasty, and anything with bacon rocks) and yet another inappropriate date flick, the pimping classic, Night Shift. Again, we made like a couple of teenagers in heat, leading us to make a little mental list of all the things you can do for fun while keeping your clothes on.
So, yeah, we haven’t had the big Fireworks session just yet, but the Sparks are A-Plenty and Good Fun has been had by all. It’s one of those things that has too much promise to screw it up by sleeping together on dates one, two, or three. Besides, I’ve been sick and it sort of kills my libido a little. We’re both on the same page, though, and I can’t stay sick forever. Still, it’s a great thing so far.
The coincidences, though, and the commonalities we share makes this thing feel really, really comfortable, really, really early in the game. It’s a little odd and surreal, but really fun and worthwhile. We’re both really well-adjusted, and both of us being writers, the communication’s stronger than I’ve had it be at any time in the past long, long time.
It’s nice, it feels good, and hey, it’s spring. The timing’s awesome.
I think it goes without saying, though, that when life rises up and places a bunch of coincidences at your feet, that you’d be a fool not to further investigate matters. I’m glad I have. I’m curious where it leads, but I’m quite enjoying the trip thus far.