To Shave, or Not to Shave?

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That is the question.
My answer is, absolutely. I just spent some quality time taking care of nature’s overgrowth before a long hot soak in the tub with a little oil. It feels great.
Depubing your privates goes a long way to improving sex. Personally, not only does a guy’s facial stubble enhance my oral experience, but so does being relatively hairless where it counts.
I’ve said it before, oral puts the pleasure in sex. For me, there’s nothing quite so enthralling as well-done oral. (Of course, a girl can’t live on oral alone.)
But oral can be a dirty job. In which case, I say: Run like the fucking wind.
Let’s face it. Better hygiene gets you better service.
Spelunking can be downright nasty when you don’t know what you’re about to encounter. This is true of cavernous spaces as well as muff and cock.
Now, I realize hair is natural. There are those who will wax poetic about keeping your pubes intact. In fact, once upon a time, I used to preserve my forests. It wasn’t a moralistic thing, though. It was all about razor burn.
It’s bad enough to have razor burn anywhere on your body, but to have it between your legs, in the folds of the skin, is damned unnecessary.
That’s one of the problems with “maintenance.” For those of us with sensitive skin, it can be a chore. Fortunately, thanks to lovely chemists and chemicals, the gods of the Bunsen burner have made it possible to go mostly hairless without the nasty skin reactions.
So the question is, why should anyone resort to harsh chemicals, razor burn, waxing, or electrolosys just to remove hair that belongs where you found it?
Because there ain’t no food group that includes hair. Because there are better ways to floss.

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Now, I enjoy giving head. I do. If the guy is clean and trimmed, that is. Hygiene means I’ll go the extra mile to give that extra special service. If things ain’t spiff? You’re banished to the quickie lane, my friends. Trust me, it’s better I linger and do a little detailing. But do your share.
Body odor? Don’t even pass go. Too hairy down there? I’ll be cut off at the path.
After all, oral pleasure isn’t about routine. It’s about moving around and applying pressure, sucking, nibbling, licking, and massaging all over the region. It’s not about just the head or the clit. It’s about the inner thighs and everything in between. Without excessive hair, a lover feels more like roaming and nibbling. Face it, skin tastes awesome. Hair, not so much.
Besides, too much hair robs you of some great sensations.
For example, that tingling, arousing feeling that hits you when your partner pauses mid-oral, and you’re sopping from a mixture of saliva and your juices, and they lean almost completely in, hovering, and breathe long, hot, slow breaths onto your your moist skin, causing this titillating mix of hot/cold that’s enhanced by their breathy breeze. It’s like the perfect day at the beach.
These days, I may not “shave” per se, but I’m very well trimmed. I praise the makers of Veet and other fine products for making my life a little more comfortable and sexy. I can’t believe I ever tolerated the bushlands, because I now find it itchy and the wrong kind of moist. I enjoy the extra attention my lovers give me.
That said, I gotta say, it’s nice to see more guys caring about their coiffs now. If it helps to do the job better…
After all, it’s very empowering to deliver quality oral, and taking the long, twisted, scenic route makes it all the more rewarding.
When proper forestry practices are maintained, of course.

Let the Games Begin

Ah, the inaugural posting.
Where to begin? The balls? The shaft? A fine question.
But no, we’ll start with something a little less tasty. Let’s go for that age-old question of why. Why the Cunting Linguist.
Hmm. Good question.
I’ve always enjoyed innuendo. I enjoy batting it around. I love being a tease, sexually and intellectually. It’s all a game.
Unfortunately, a lot of people didn’t pick up the handbook, and too many people ignore the fucking rules.
That said, people who’ve read me elsewhere are thinking, “So, it’ll be mostly rants about sex?”
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Honestly? I haven’t a fucking clue. I’m starting to think it’d be fun to write some erotica as well — my style, whatever that might be. It’ll definitely include stories from my past. I’ve already promised to tell the tale of when I chipped a tooth during sex.
And I will, but it’s a long story and involves another face from my past, one I miss and would love to encounter along a bare wall with the lights down low.
An epic finish to that tale, one that would see both the players utterly satiated, and then totally denied a future encounter when The Truth would enter the picture. If there’s one ex-lover I want to phone when it’s 3:00 in the morning on a hot night, no breeze, and that familiar tingle and shortening of breath finds me alone in my bed… It’d be J.
I have a lot of strong feelings about sex. I think we’re denied a lot of pleasure due to hang-ups in society. That said, I’m still a pretty old-fashioned girl in some regards, since I’ve never been promiscuous, and I’m not into swinging or the like.
No, for me it’s still about romance, creativity, sex toys, light bondage, teasing, taunting, toying, food, stimulants, erotica, music, location, and lighting. How dull.
I’ll admit, I’m a little curious about sadomasochism, but I honestly have to say that I enjoy pleasure and reward, doting and toying. Punishment isn’t really my bag. But I wouldn’t want to be judgmental, if you know what I mean.

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Still, I’ve encountered a surprising amount of men who think they’re open and adventurous when it comes to sex, but you mention the word “bondage” and there’s this image they conjure of some dom maxed-out in leather with a bull-whip and studded collars.
Sure, if stereotypes fit your bill. I have no bullwhip, and very little leather, but I’m more than willing to get into a bound situation, as either the binder or the bindee. It’s all about variety, n’est ce pas?
I’ll definitely be writing on things of those calibre. Tackling those tough dilemmas, like, to shave or not to shave.
I may even post recipes from my aphrodisiac cookbook. No, I’m not kidding. Yes, I do have one. And yes, it does work wonders, but then so does a handjob.
I’m open to receiving questions from y’all, preferably via email so I get the element of surprise when I post the question. I’d laugh my ass off if you sent in whack questions that are completely bullshit, and I’d still answer them. You’re creative, do something with it.
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BUT… I really don’t want to pigeon-hole this site into “just sex.” It seems shallow, at first blush.
Then again, it seems to me that sex is used in everything from video games to burger advertisements. Confining the topic to sex-related might open up a whole interesting subculture of issues to examine.
But there’ll always be oral sex. Sucking, nibbling, chewing, licking. All those lovely verbs that bring a grin to my lips every time my imagination kicks in. “Oral pleasure.” Of all the euphemisms used in sex, that’s the best one. That’s the one that reminds you: It’s about pleasure.
Let’s hope I bring you some. Stick around, and we’ll see where this game of cat-and-mouse will lead. This could be fun.