Taking a Moment to Appreciate a Moment

It’s Friday morning. I should be leaving for work. Instead, I’m enjoying the dregs of a French press of black, black coffee, and smiling rather enigmatically as I appreciate the changing daylight as thin clouds waft in front of the sun, toying with the quality of light seeping past my linen curtains.
It is a fine, fine morning. For the first time in… I really can’t tell you how long — I feel better this morning than I did at the start of my work week. My back feels great, I’ve got energy, I’m happy, I’m looking forward to my day, and I’m relatively stress-free.
It’s been a long, long time.
So I’m smiling a lot. Big! Continue reading →

About A Girl and Her Scooter

It’s 5:27am. I woke up at about 5ish, just lying there and thinking.
About my scooter.
It’s funny, my scooter technically runs better than it has in its entire life. Completely rebuilt engine, yada, yada. Looks like shit, since The Kid* cracked and broke the hell out of its shell, but what are you gonna do?
All winter, however, my scooter has languished in the corner of my parking lot. Continue reading →

When Waiting Can Be Worth It

The trouble with being a fast-food nation is that it’s become the norm to want what you want the way you want it, when you want it.
We’re led to believe that every single day is so important — which is why we need the iPhone, the laptop, the netbook, the fast car, the microwave — that to waste a single moment or wait a single day is tantamount to a national disaster.
And it’s easy to fall into the expectation that because there’s never going to be another today that tomorrow just won’t do, especially when it comes to relationships.
We often don’t have a lot of patience anymore, particularly in love. Me, I’ve never really had it. Continue reading →

Purdy New Digs

Lookie, lookie! At long last I got rid of the intense-and-cool but hard-as-fuck-to-read black-black-black blog design.
Now, since this is one of those literary-type places, it’s all easy-to-read and simple.
I’d like to extend my gratitude to the very literary, well-written, ever-so-kind gent behind the fabulous blog www.wordshepherd.com, who gave me technical help for my stylings. Continue reading →

The Desire to be Spent

It’s before 7 on a Saturday morning. The naive plan was, I’d get up and go swimming. I’m up. My body tells me I’m a fucking fool. Sleep, it says.
So, I’m going to. I’ll go back to bed in a few. And I’m all right with that.
The reality is, though, that I’m starting to realize between last night and today, just how much this not-working-out thing is killing and deadening my soul.
It’s worse than not getting laid. Far, far worse. Continue reading →

Fuck the Catholic Church Too

Dear Pope Whatsyerface:
I imagine that, if I ever really wanted to know what an “asshat” looked like, you’d be Exhibit A. I mean, what other excuse is there for that ridiculous hat?
And it’s funny, such a big hat for a man who has such an obviously small brain.
You’re now speculating that condoms are part of the problem with AIDS.
Right. Because rubber is so sieve-like.
You prick. Taking another promotional tour across Africa to again preach your message that using condoms is a sin, and now you’re blatantly LYING, you hypocritical fuck, and saying condoms make the AIDS situation worse?
The BBC reports this:

On his way to Cameroon, the Pope said HIV/Aids was “a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem”.

People die every single minute from AIDS in Africa. On a continent where education is so hard to come by, and society is rife with discrimination against those afflicted, and the governments have, for the most part, abdicated their responsibilities to care for and protect its citizens at large?
How DARE you? Motherfucker.
Love Steff.

*** *** ***

I’ll cut this short, because I think one of my best postings ever (of a political nature) was on this very subject. Without ado, I give you: Fuck the Pope.

Bodies, Rest, & Motion

[Two postings, one day? Huh! Writing like this is better than any therapy appointment ever will be. 20 minutes later and I feel really free and loose. You may read this and feel bummed, but I feel great. This is what writing’s about. Getting places you didn’t think you could. It’s a good night.]
Short but profound realization that had me spontaneously break into tears and then suddenly feel relief. I don’t really understand it, yet, but since I’m into the wine, I also don’t want to forget it and think it could be interesting for others to read.
So I was sort of reflecting on a conversation from last night about why I should worry so much about my weight and my body, since I’m cute, but more importantly, I offer a lot. And I know all that, but I couldn’t really explain why it’s so important to me that I achieve what I want health-wise. And I don’t want anyone thinking that my pursuit to change myself is merely rooted in vanity, ‘cos I’m so much more than that.
Tonight, it hit me. Continue reading →

Doctor, Doctor, Gimme the News

Sex, even mere hanky-panky, is a workout.
All that squirming and groping and thrusting makes your whole body (if you’re doing it right) tense and flex. Maybe even throb a little.
Injuries can happen in sex. Hell, people die shagging when their hearts give out. From orgasm to aneurysm, just like that. Continue reading →

My Own Private Dichotomy

Fear is not my friend. I don’t care what the bookstore’s self-help section says.
Fear is a bitch. A mean, driven bitch.
I am not a fan of fear.
I bought that book. Twice. Feel The Fear and Do It Anyways. Sometimes I do it anyways. But I always feel the fear. Ever-present, always-niggling fear.
Fortunately I know that I’m apparently invincible. Continue reading →