It’s all strange.
I’m slowly trying to get a life again after taking myself out of the equation for years. Looking for people more up than down, more smart than dumb, more communicative than un, more unmarried than married.
That part’s working, it’s fun, but it’s a strange ride, especially since everyone I’ve been meeting is 34 and younger. Even if I am young-at-heart, I tell ya. These “kids” think, “Well, it’s only 10 years.” Yeah. And 220,000 hours. Just shy of 14 billion potentially life-altering anything-can-happen seconds. I’ve changed so much this WINTER, let alone the last decade. Age isn’t just a number, it’s an entity. It’s just not a be-all end-all, but it can’t just be dismissed. That said, I like youth. I’m just bridging some mental gaps, is all. Continue reading
Category Archives: Specifically Steff
A Posting About BumperStickers to Feed Your Dirty Little Habit
It’s been a weird week. I’ve written a few times, but just not for you. It happens.
I’m tired. Worked out twice today. The second time was a doozy. Did a pretty intense but short (7k) cycling sprint that had me spent after, THEN I did my second 30-minute set of intense plyometrics for the day. (First was at 7:30am.) When done, I was shaking all over. So, yeah, no writing tonight, either. I’m inhabiting a secret world of dread as to how my abs will feel come morning. Oh, lordie. Oh.
So, in lieu of a “real” posting, I’ll share with you a list of all my favourite bumper stickers I’ve ever had on either my vehicles or my laptop. I’m not subtle.
- Look busy, Jesus is coming. Continue reading
Ending an Era
It just took a light tap on a sweet spot, but the crystal glass shattered and shards scattered amongst my feet.
It was the last of a crystal wine goblet in a pattern called “Stephanie” that my mother bought with a giggle some 15-20 years ago because they bore my name. And now they’re all gone, just like she is.
It’s strange, the glass breaking the morning after Mother’s Day, the morning after I’ve finally thrown out the last of her clothes that I just found in my closet last night.
But sometimes life indicates to us when it’s really time to move on. Continue reading
The Struggle Between Optimism and Authenticity
Having woken up in a pretty sour mood, I got into my exercises after a pretty lengthy bit of procrastinating. While doing them, I watched Michael J. Fox’s Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, a one-hour documentary on his search to understand more about what makes us optimistic, and how it might impact things.
It’s a lot of food for thought. I found myself with a few questions. Continue reading
Time Travel Needed. And One Flux Capacitor.
Once again, I find myself exhausted.
This “one day off a week” thing was a novel notion, but a big fail. The reality is, I’m supposed to be working out 1.5 hours A DAY (six days a week) and I tack that on an 8.5 hour day, nothing else gets done. Or at least not when you’re still rehabbing and energy’s a tough find some days. Continue reading
Nocturnal Thoughts about a Long & Windy Road
It’s 2.30am and the lights are low in my apartment. I was on the verge of bed when I saw a tweet from the singer John Mayer that made me think, so I took a look at his Twitter page, and I saw this:
“There’s this moment in creation, when you’ve made something truly special, where you become euphoric. And then, utterly lonely.”
I’ve been feeling that tonight, the lonely. Continue reading
Quickie: State of the Steff
I’m on the verge of eggs and toast. This is my exciting life.
I just wanted to pop in though, say boo to some of my favourite readers, and just letcha all know that it might be a day or two before I’m firing on all cylinders. This blog’s a total snapshot of my mental processing and parts of my life, it happens on my whim. I don’t write postings in advance, or plan for things, or scheme.
It’s all whatever feels right. It’s kind of the hedonistic approach to blogging, as opposed to what I suspect is, um, much more orchestrated with other “serious” bloggers. I just don’t roll that way. Wish I could. I’d accomplish more.
But life isn’t about this blog right now. And it honestly hasn’t been for the last two years. Continue reading
In Vino Veritas: I Fucking Rocked It
I had wanted to post this on Monday morning, having written it Sunday morning, but was having issues with getting footnoting working with this template of mine. And since the footnotes are where all the “funny” is in this posting, I wanted them working. Here you go! Finally.
It’s 5:05am. I’m not really drunk anymore, but with any luck I’ll be tipsy in a few. 1 This is a mighty big sunrise glass of wine I’ve poured, and there’s another to go.
Insomnia. Staring at a black ceiling. Mind whirling in a million directions — boys and summer and bikes and money and–and–and– 2
Continue reading
Existential Excavating: What Made Me What I Was
The hardest part of losing weight, I’m finding, is the challenge of identity.
Being fat isn’t just something that happens over the course of a month. Being fat, becoming as fat as I ever got, took me 25 years exactly. 25 years of daily contributing to an obviously ever-growing problem.
From an eight-year-old spending a summer with an unlimited flow of Mountain Dew and Pepsi at my aunt’s for the first time, I began the journey of Becoming Fat. Continue reading
RANT: You Think You're A Feminist?
I can’t stand elitism. I can’t stand the “we’re better than you” mentality. And I sure as fuck can’t stand when someone’s got to get their hate on just to get ahead.
A particular blog post from someone in the sex blogging community is ridiculously sexist and moronic in its simplicity, in my opinion. Because I don’t feel the need to sling mud and hurt anyone’s reputations, I’ll leave it anonymous.
The blogger in question had a shitty day. Some guy, after she admitted she was responsible for causing a car accident, mouthed off with “It’s always the woman’s fault.” Because of this, she turned around and decided to slag all “privileged white males” as being asses.
Now, if she’d gone and said instead that she WORKS with privileged white males who are all asses, that’d be different, but her post more or less painted all as the same, and THAT is something I have a problem with.
Here’s the deal. Continue reading